Jotd

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An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said,

'I'm here to feed the alligator...

[Load Toad]

Those funny Dutch: http://producten.hema.nl/

[CwbGuy]

Particularly apt for some boards!

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*FIVE SURGEONS:*



Five surgeons from big cities were discussing who makes the best patient
to operate on.


The 1st surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see Accountants on
my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside
is numbered."


The 2nd, from Chicago , responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."


The 3d surgeon, from Dallas , says, "No, I really think
librarians are the best, everything in side them is in alphabetical order."


The 4th surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like
construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a
few parts left over."



But the 5th surgeon, from Washington , DC , shut them all up when he observed:

"You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no
guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine -- and the head and
the ass are interchangeable....

[Juno Watt]

Did you hear on the news about that vanload of Viagra that was hijacked?




























Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

[Mr Benn]

A guy goes into his local W H Smith, "Excuse me Miss, do you have that new self help book for men who suffer from small penis syndrome?" The assistant replies, "Sorry, I don't think it's in yet". The guy says, "Yeah, that'll be it"

[Stoob]

What's the difference between "Iron Lady" and "Iron Woman"?







One is a new movie, the other is an order!

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